Yesterday, I was offered a job doing what I love, design. I had such a fear to get back into the workplace after staying home with my girls. God showed me that along with being a mom, I can do what I love doing and what I am passionate about. He opened the door and instead of cowering in fear or staying in my confort zone, I walked thru the open door. I am excited to see where this adventure takes me. I am also up this morning and just got off the treadmill. Why? I wanted to get up, I am excited about the day. Wow! That is refreshing, after trying to fit into a schedule or routine, now I want to. I just need to hold on to this feeling and embrace it tomorrow.
I stumbbled upon a song on the radio before I went to bed the other night that really inspired me, of course, it was the Holy Spirit giving me the grace I needed to push me out of my comfort zone. It is by Britt Nicole "Walk on the Water"
Click on the the link to hear the words http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Et00UNFDjVM
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Matthew 6:33 (Contemporary English Version)
33 But more than anything else, put God's work first and do what he wants. Then the other things will be yours as well.
I know God is good. He wants me to get this (Do What Is Right) so that I am not stuggling with the "other things". If I focus all my attention on doing Gods will then He will take care of the rest. I am believing for it; however it is a struggle with in my self to not think about all the "other things" that clog up my thoughts. Like "when will I lose weight", "when will my family be settled in our new home, new town, new school", "where will we go the church", "will we be in the right neighborhood", "should I go back to work", "is childcare the best option for my girls". It is overwhelming and easily distracts me from doing what God wants. He wants me to have faith and trust and focus on the fruits of the spirit. Easier said then done. I started this journey very materialistically, no cookie yes shoes. The reality is God had a different goal in mind, the goal is to do what God wants first. 145 days to understand, now how many more days until I apply this understanding. I think I have spent a month just restating that simple philosophy. I hope it sticks with me, I am ready to move forward. I have hovered over the problem long enough.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Today I lost 1 lb., I gained mostly in the last few weeks, so I hope I am back on track, staying aware. It is a constant state of awareness. The old me likes to rear its ugly head, but I am learning HOW to stay focused. I feel a lot like a blubbering idiot, but one thing is for sure....I am not giving up....and if applied all my mutterings are helping me be the best version of myself.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
I am still frustrating my own situation by thinking too much. I am trying too hard to do it myself. I believe what God is trying to get through to me is that I need to stop the thinking about what and how to do anything, but instead keep my focus and thoughts on Him. All my thoughts need to be prayers, then I need to trust and have faith in God's will and perfect timing. Even with my weight and health. I have been overweight and unhealthy for a good portion of my life. It is not what will make or break me. God is trying to get a bigger message to me through my surrendering to this discipline. I need to be aware that I need God's will and perfect timing in all areas of my life. When I surrender, God shows up and I am in auto pilot, effortless. I am up this morning because I surrendered last night after about an hour of tossing and turning over the things in my life that I am powerless to change on my own. I prayed, " Lord, I am sure you are laughing at all my plans, I need to sleep now so , take my thoughts and worries, bring me peace and patience but most of all I surrender to YOUR will for my life, keep my concience sharp to do only what I can, and give the rest to You, to do what I can't! Amen" That was last night and this morning I am up and on auto pilot. God is so good! Let go and let God......it is true!