Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Day 213......I Am Greatly Shaken

What happens when you forget all the things you are suppose to know.  Like preparing for a test for, well 213 days and then failing the test on exam day.  That is the day I had!  Total doubt and frustration enveloped me, I cryed and questioned my beliefs, and had Kentucky Fried was a bad day.  Now I am realizing that once again my emotions reared her ugly head and destroyed my perfectly wonderful spring day.  Oh I am a totally sucker.  I feel stupid! 

The good news,  I am not afaid to admit it and move forward.  I am reminded of a verse ( of course, another verse to my rescue)
 Proverbs 3:5-6 (Amplified Bible)
5  Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.
6  In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.

I have lost 2 followers, since I started my blog.  I am sad about it; however this is me the real me and I can't be anything else.  This is my stuggle and my victory!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Day .....Somewhere in the middle

I am so excited to share with you how amazing God is.  I am still in the mist of the unknown, and still curious when God is going to follow through on this leap of  faith. So why am I excited!  It is a verse that God has brought to life for me and it is
Psalm 62:1-7 (Amplified Bible)
1  FOR GOD alone my soul waits in silence; from Him comes my salvation.
2 He only is my Rock and my Salvation, my Defense and my Fortress, I shall not be greatly moved.
3 How long will you set upon a man that you may slay him, all of you, like a leaning wall, like a tottering fence?

4 They only consult to cast him down from his height [to dishonor him]; they delight in lies. They bless with their mouths, but they curse inwardly. Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]!
5 My soul, wait only upon God and silently submit to Him; for my hope and expectation are from Him.

6 He only is my Rock and my Salvation; He is my Defense and my Fortress, I shall not be moved.
7 With God rests my salvation and my glory; He is my Rock of unyielding strength and impenetrable hardness, and my refuge is in God!
The author of this scripture is declaring that he will not be greatly moved by his current circumstances .....then after more torment......he declares he shall not be moved at all.  I have lived this, the last few months with every crazy emotional mountain, I hestitantly declared "I will not be greatly moved" and God has been my rock and has delivered me out of the momentary mountain of crazy just in the nick of time.  So now even though my circumstances are still crazy and I need God daily to be my rock and defender, I declare," I will not be moved at all". I am excited to tell you that renewed strength does exist and God does wait on us to see where our loyalty lies, then just in the nick of time, we are given renewed strength and the preserverance needed to press on in faith.  It has been a major power struggle for me to let go and allow God to be in the driver seat, but as I declare each day that I will not be moved, My flesh (old me) gets worn out and I feel totally capable to enjoy my day and not get stirred up about anything.  The bonus is that I was a emotional eater, so God has taken me on this journey to deliver me from my greatly moving emotions.  I feel in control of my eating, it is a discipline of eating when hungry and not eating to fill a emotional void..  I am losing weight and loving the feeling of being able to control myself.  Selah!