Day 146......Hooray!

Yesterday, I was offered a job doing what I love, design.  I had such a fear to get back into the workplace after staying home with my girls.  God showed me that along with being a mom, I can do what I love doing and what I am passionate about.  He opened the door and instead of cowering in fear or staying in my confort zone, I walked thru the open door.  I am excited to see where this adventure takes me.  I am also up this morning and just got off the treadmill.  Why?  I wanted to get up, I am excited about the day. Wow!  That is refreshing, after trying to fit into a schedule or routine, now I want to.  I just need to hold on to this feeling and embrace it tomorrow.

I stumbbled upon a song on the radio before I went to bed the other night that really inspired me, of course, it was the Holy Spirit giving me the grace I needed to push me out of my comfort zone.  It is by Britt Nicole "Walk on the Water"
Click on the the link to hear the words  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Et00UNFDjVM

Day 145.....Do What God Wants

Matthew 6:33 (Contemporary English Version)

33 But more than anything else, put God's work first and do what he wants. Then the other things will be yours as well.

I know God is good. He wants me to get this (Do What Is Right) so that I am not stuggling with the "other things".  If I focus all my attention on doing Gods will then He will take care of the rest.  I am believing for it; however it is a struggle with in my self to not think about all the "other things" that clog up my thoughts.  Like "when will I lose weight", "when will my family be settled in our new home, new town, new school", "where will we go the church", "will we be in the right neighborhood", "should I go back to work", "is childcare the best option for my girls".  It is overwhelming and easily distracts me from doing what God wants.  He wants me to have faith and trust and focus on the fruits of the spirit.  Easier said then done.  I started this journey very materialistically, no cookie yes shoes.  The reality is God had a different goal in mind, the goal is to do what God wants first. 145 days to understand, now how many more days until I apply this understanding.  I think I have spent a month just restating that simple philosophy.  I hope it sticks with me, I am ready to move forward.  I have hovered over the problem long enough.

Day 138....Week 20 Weigh In

Today I lost 1 lb., I gained mostly in the last few weeks, so I hope I am back on track, staying aware.  It is a constant state of awareness.  The old me likes to rear its ugly head, but I am learning HOW to stay focused.  I feel a lot like a blubbering idiot, but one thing is for sure....I am not giving up....and if applied all my mutterings are helping me be the best version of myself.

Day 136....Let God do what I Can't

I am still frustrating my own situation by thinking too much.  I am trying too hard to do it myself.  I believe what God is trying to get through to me is that I need to stop the thinking about what and how to do anything, but instead keep my focus and thoughts on Him.  All my thoughts need to be prayers, then I need to trust and have faith in God's will and perfect timing.  Even with my weight and health.  I have been overweight and unhealthy for a good portion of my life. It is not what will make or break me.  God is trying to get a bigger message to me through my surrendering to this discipline.  I need to be aware that I need God's will and perfect timing in all areas of my life.  When I surrender, God shows up and I am in auto pilot, effortless.  I am up this morning because I surrendered last night after about an hour of tossing and turning over the things in my life that I am powerless to change on my own.  I prayed, " Lord, I am sure you are laughing at all my plans, I need to sleep now so , take my thoughts and worries, bring me peace and patience but most of all I surrender to YOUR will for my life, keep my concience sharp to do only what I can, and give the rest to You, to do what I can't! Amen"  That was last night and this morning I am up and on auto pilot.  God is so good!  Let go and let God......it is true!

Day 129.......Is Grace jealously awaiting my surrender?

1 Peter 5:5 (New Living Translation)

5  In the same way, you younger men must accept the authority of the elders. And all of you, serve each other in humility, for

“God opposes the proud

but favors the humble.”[a]

James 4:5-7 (New Living Translation)

5 What do you think the Scriptures mean when they say that the spirit God has placed within us is filled with envy?[a] 6 But he gives us even more grace to stand against such evil desires. As the Scriptures say,

“God opposes the proud

but favors the humble.”[b]

7 So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

Jonah 2:8 (New International Version)

8 "Those who cling to worthless idols

forfeit the grace that could be theirs.

Could this mean that if I am not submitting to God or my elders authority, God may be frustrating my situation due to my pride!  I have heard the saying, "surrender invites grace".

I Surrender !!!!!

I am learning that God has envy/jealousy for us.  He desires for us to know and seek only after Him.  He is our ultimate gift and He desperately wants us to continue on the path toward Him.  I watched the movie, The Ultimate Gift www.theultimategift.com/  then, came to a realization that God also puts us though a series of gifts (tests),  because His desire is for us to succeed in each gift to obtain the ulimate gift on earth which will only get better into our eternity.  What is the way to obtain it.....Surrender to His will, He is ready to lead us into His pefection, all it takes is surrender!  What's to lose, only the Ultimate Gift.  If you don't want it He won't force it, but He longs (envy/jealousy) for us to have it!   A Big Lesson, but to get it is the Ultimate!

1 Corinthians 10:21-23 (New International Version)

21 You cannot drink the cup of the Lord and the cup of demons too; you cannot have a part in both the Lord's table and the table of demons. 22 Are we trying to arouse the Lord's jealousy? Are we stronger than he?

The Believer's Freedom

23 "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is constructive.

 

Lord, keep my thoughts on You, keep my actions Godly...Let me never arouse Your jealousy that You should oppose me....but let me always surrender to Your will and recieve your grace for my everyday circumstances. In Jesus name, Amen!

Day 126....My Tool Box

On weigh in day, I lost 2 lbs.  I realize that I have developed a wonderful tool box of great tools that work for me when used.  I just need to revisit my past posts and take a look at the tools that have helped me get this far.  I bit my nail off this last week, so I grabbed the ol' tool of dark nail polish (see Day 34 post), starting over is the perfect place to start.  In two weeks I will have long nails again.  I totally enjoyed Christmas and allowed myself to eat whatever I wanted as long as I did not over eat, I stopped when I was full.  I put my napkin on my plate and pushed it away (even when my plate still had food on it) WOW! (see Day 87 post).  Best of all I am in peace, God has given me a new level to dwell on and it has nothing to do with food.  I am no longer a slave under foods control.  Now, don't get me wrong.  I still love food, but it is in moderation because I know who I serve and who I want to think about and it is not food.  (see Day 107 post) 

Day 120......Stay on Track or Fall off Completely

On weigh in day I had gained 2.4 pounds. Ouch!  What I realized is my focus has not been on God this past week, it has been on my circumstances.  I needed to realize that if I lose my focus I will fall completely off the track. To stay on track I need to listen to my body signals and stop snacking when I am not hungry.   It is so easy to get caught up in daily insecurities, all the why, how and where's of lifes unknowns, but I am learning to give it ALL to God especially my thoughts. Then I need to trust that He is working out all the worrisome details for me, all I need to do is keep on being faithful and diligent in my discipline.  WoW!  I don't like set backs.  I am fighting feelings of failure and wanting to give up; however I have come so far.  God has shown up along the journey so many times, just to remind me, that He cares and wants me to keep Him my main focus.  Coincidently I am studying the Fruits of the Spirit with a book study group and I just read the chapter on Self Control.  Boy, did that one sting a bit! 

Galatians 5:17-18 (Amplified Bible)

17 For the desires of the flesh are opposed to the [Holy] Spirit, and the [desires of the] Spirit are opposed to the flesh (godless human nature); for these are antagonistic to each other [continually withstanding and in conflict with each other], so that you are not free but are prevented from doing what you desire to do

So in short, it is HARD!  Our only saving grace is....Philippians 4:13 (Amplified Bible)

13 I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who [a]infuses inner strength into me; I am [b]self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency].

I can do this, but I MUST tap into God's strength with a can do attitude, and with humility knowing that I can not do this alone.  God has to infuse me with His strength.  Also, the strength to not think.  I am my own worst critic, when I allow my thinking to be negative, so I must replace those negative thoughts with God's encouragement.  Encouragemant that reminds me that nothing is impossible with Him. 

Matthew 19:26 (Amplified Bible)

26 But Jesus looked at them and said, With men this is impossible, but all things are possible with God.

God understands that our flesh and spirit are at war.  He delights when we overcome the flesh with Self Control. The self control that produces fruit and where there is fruit there is a harvest.

Galatians 6:9 (Amplified Bible)

9 And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint.

Yeah.....Hope renewed!