Day 348......We Accept

We accepted the counteroffer on the property we are attempting to purchase.  I am still in AWE!

Day 347.......A Breakthrough

The offer for a new house has been accepted!  Only God!  He is a God of seed, if we recieve His vision into our spirit and plant it (act on it) He will honor our faith and that seed will start to grow in proportion with our belief.

Ecclesiastes 11:4 (Amplified Bible)

He who observes the wind [and waits for all conditions to be favorable] will not sow, and he who regards the clouds will not reap.

Day 346.......Distraction

The best lesson I have learned is from disciplining my 2 year old.  In disciplining her I tried the following:  reasoning, protesting, spanking, time out, crying, throwing my own fit, ignoring her; the ONLY thing that is successful with my 2 year is DISTRACTION, getting her mind off the thing that is causing the problem and getting her to think about something else.
I believe that is what God is teaching me to do. I was worried about losing weight, so He occupied my mind with MOVING my family (great distraction).  I was worried about finances, God occupied my mind with WORKING.  Now I get it; whenever my thinking (worry) is polluting my mind, I find a distraction!

2 Corinthians 10:5 (The Message)

3-6   The world is unprincipled. It's dog-eat-dog out there! The world doesn't fight fair. But we don't live or fight our battles that way—never have and never will. The tools of our trade aren't for marketing or manipulation, but they are for demolishing that entire massively corrupt culture. We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ. Our tools are ready at hand for clearing the ground of every obstruction and building lives of obedience into maturity.

(my own emphasis added)

Day 345........20 more days!

This year has been the CRAZIEST year.  It has been a time of letting go and letting GOD.  Developing a personal relationship with Christ needs a disclosure, fine print that for me would read as follows:

do not attempt  unless you are prepared for BATTLE, full amour required at all times, if at any time you do not apply the FULL amour you will get knocked down; However, Jesus is enough, His Grace is sufficient, be cofident and wait for the still small voice that appears as a moth.  Do not get shaken, take every thought and make it reflect God's best.  Do Not Do anything under stress when emotions run high, WAIT on the Lord.  Imitate a eagle and fly over the storm and let the winds guide you to a safe landing.  Never Give Up, Jesus is our ROCK, REDEEMER, STONG TOWER, DELIVERER, PROVIDER and FRIEND.  GO BOLDLY to the throne and never stop BELIEVING!!!!!

During these last 20 days, I am believing for great things and new beginning that will be the result of this HUGE step of faith for my family.  

We made an offer on a house and I am waiting the results......This house means country living, land, aquiet, simple life, a christain school, closer to our provision (Jobs), and closer to Lake Michigan.  It also means Good-Bye to a life that I love in Kalamazoo.  I have to believe that God will provide the right church and the right friends for my family. I have the BEST church and AMAZING friends in Kalamazoo.  This is bitter/sweet.

Day 282......Nevertheless

Luke 5:5 (King James Version)

5  And Simon answering said unto him, Master, we have toiled all the night, and have taken nothing: nevertheless at thy word I will let down the net.

Just like Simon, wanting to give up before the task is complete, I feel like giving up on my blog; nevertheless I know that God put it in my heart to complete so I will stick with it until it's time.

These last 11 months have been riddled with life changing events and awkward circumstances to test my emotional stability.  I am happy to report that I am learning to rise above my circumstances.  My weight will no longer be the barometer for how I handle my emotions. 

The stuggle now is to maintain the 25lb loss that I achieved and to push through to loss another 25lbs.  I am very determined. 

I am still pursuing a healthier lifestyle; organic meat, safer beauty products, NO fast food, NO sweetner and the list is a work in progress.  My hope for my family is to live on a hobby farm with chickens and possibly a goat, and of course a vegtable garden. I am so excited about the possibility to raise my girls in a self sustaining environment that encourages healthy living.

God is so good, and He loves us to pursue our destiny and purpose, so If God wills it; it will happen!

Day 241......Eyes up

It is easy to lose sight of what God is doing, by looking at circumstances with a negative and complaining attitude.   Don't allow the devil to take away the postive that only God can show you.  Keep your eyes up.  Peter stepped out of the boat in faith and walked on water, but when he took his eyes off of Jesus he began to sink.  While sharing my facts, I have to let God fill in the unknowns, I just have to stay positive.  Eyes on Him and NO complaints!

Engage Maverick!

I would say I am from the "Top Gun" generation, "Top Gun" as in the movie with Tom Cruise.  My lifes recent and present circumstances remind me of the time when the lead character, Maverick in the movie, is facing hardships and is unable to get back into the game of life. While in a "dog fight" (fighter planes exchanging into battle) Mavericks wing man pleads with him to engage in the battle, not to pull away in fear and doubt.  Well, I relate to this scene and I am here to ENGAGE in the battle.  No more fear No more doubt, I am ready to get out of my circumstances, mentally, and move forward. 

My family has moved out of our home and have taken indefinate residency in my parents home.  This is not the outcome that I was intenting; however the silver lining is that my family is happy and very comfortable. Sometimes we have to let go of our intentions and weigh out the actual situation.  With my current circumstanes properly weighed out I am ready to move forward and not look back. Since the last time I blogged, I have been doing well on my weight meaning I am hovering at +/- 5 pounds, but that is not good enough.  I am getting back to my disipline and getting out of this holding pattern.  I am Maverick engaging in the dog fight.

My prayer yesterday was, "God, what now"  and I begged Him to give me a scripture.  I opened the Bible to Isaiah 1: 16-17

16 Wash yourselves, make yourselves clean; put away the evil of your doings from before My eyes! Cease to do evil,

17 Learn to do right! Seek justice, relieve the oppressed, and correct the oppressor. Defend the fatherless, plead for the widow.

I though, "Okay, I will focus on that".  I realize that God knows my confusion and knows my heart.  He desires me to do good in the storms of life, take my eyes off the negative, and stay focused on Him.  I understand and I am so ready to be transformed in my mind.  Transformed to not think on the things that I don't understand, but to stay focused on the moment and make the moment count for something to my greater good ie. staying health, losing weight, spending time with my family, and doing the right thing.  The scripture also gives a promise, I love those, it continues to say.......

Isaiah 1: 19

19 If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land;

 

and I like that!

Day 213......I Am Greatly Shaken

What happens when you forget all the things you are suppose to know.  Like preparing for a test for, well 213 days and then failing the test on exam day.  That is the day I had!  Total doubt and frustration enveloped me, I cryed and questioned my beliefs, and had Kentucky Fried Chicken....it was a bad day.  Now I am realizing that once again my emotions reared her ugly head and destroyed my perfectly wonderful spring day.  Oh I am a totally sucker.  I feel stupid! 

The good news,  I am not afaid to admit it and move forward.  I am reminded of a verse ( of course, another verse to my rescue)

 Proverbs 3:5-6 (Amplified Bible)

5  Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.

6  In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.

I have lost 2 followers, since I started my blog.  I am sad about it; however this is me the real me and I can't be anything else.  This is my stuggle and my victory!

Day .....Somewhere in the middle

I am so excited to share with you how amazing God is.  I am still in the mist of the unknown, and still curious when God is going to follow through on this leap of  faith. So why am I excited!  It is a verse that God has brought to life for me and it is

Psalm 62:1-7 (Amplified Bible)

1  FOR GOD alone my soul waits in silence; from Him comes my salvation.

2 He only is my Rock and my Salvation, my Defense and my Fortress, I shall not be greatly moved.

3 How long will you set upon a man that you may slay him, all of you, like a leaning wall, like a tottering fence?

4 They only consult to cast him down from his height [to dishonor him]; they delight in lies. They bless with their mouths, but they curse inwardly. Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]!

5 My soul, wait only upon God and silently submit to Him; for my hope and expectation are from Him.

6 He only is my Rock and my Salvation; He is my Defense and my Fortress, I shall not be moved.

7 With God rests my salvation and my glory; He is my Rock of unyielding strength and impenetrable hardness, and my refuge is in God!

The author of this scripture is declaring that he will not be greatly moved by his current circumstances .....then after more torment......he declares he shall not be moved at all.  I have lived this, the last few months with every crazy emotional mountain, I hestitantly declared "I will not be greatly moved" and God has been my rock and has delivered me out of the momentary mountain of crazy just in the nick of time.  So now even though my circumstances are still crazy and I need God daily to be my rock and defender, I declare," I will not be moved at all". I am excited to tell you that renewed strength does exist and God does wait on us to see where our loyalty lies, then just in the nick of time, we are given renewed strength and the preserverance needed to press on in faith.  It has been a major power struggle for me to let go and allow God to be in the driver seat, but as I declare each day that I will not be moved, My flesh (old me) gets worn out and I feel totally capable to enjoy my day and not get stirred up about anything.  The bonus is that I was a emotional eater, so God has taken me on this journey to deliver me from my greatly moving emotions.  I feel in control of my eating, it is a discipline of eating when hungry and not eating to fill a emotional void..  I am losing weight and loving the feeling of being able to control myself.  Selah!

Day i don't know

Acts 17:28 (Amplified Bible)

28  For in Him we live and move and have our being; as even some of your [own] poets have said, For we are also His offspring.

What this verse means to me is that circumstances don't matter. It is in Him that we live, move and have our being.  It doesn't say if all our circumstances are perfect, it doesn't say if  we do good works, it doesn't say anything negative.  It says IN HIM we live, move and have our being.  I am here to tell you that it is a HUGE power stuggle for me to give it all to HIM, but in the mist of my crazy circumstances, I have continually looked to God for the comfort and answers.  I have lost all control and relinquished it.  I am not on the treadmill, why? Because it is no longer available for me to use.  No Problem.  I am not able to control what I eat, because for the last month I have not been to the grocery store.  No problem.  I did give the control to God and to His Glory I am past my first weight goal.  My fingernails are getting so long that I have to file them down. My family appreciates my role in the house more than ever.  What did I have to do. I had to give up control over my future, I had to trust that God is in control and IN HIM I can live, move and have my being in abundance.   I am in AWE today of how God works, it is never predictable and [in my case] He loves the impossible.  So I say, with confindence, bring it on!  The devil will not steal, kill or destroy what God intends for good.  I gave my focus to Him and then all the things I was worried about worked themselves out, through faith and trust, and not giving up!  Follow the link below for a totally cool, very relevent clip that was the message at church today. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3qh2dJxUy8&feature=related

Day 146......Hooray!

Yesterday, I was offered a job doing what I love, design.  I had such a fear to get back into the workplace after staying home with my girls.  God showed me that along with being a mom, I can do what I love doing and what I am passionate about.  He opened the door and instead of cowering in fear or staying in my confort zone, I walked thru the open door.  I am excited to see where this adventure takes me.  I am also up this morning and just got off the treadmill.  Why?  I wanted to get up, I am excited about the day. Wow!  That is refreshing, after trying to fit into a schedule or routine, now I want to.  I just need to hold on to this feeling and embrace it tomorrow.

I stumbbled upon a song on the radio before I went to bed the other night that really inspired me, of course, it was the Holy Spirit giving me the grace I needed to push me out of my comfort zone.  It is by Britt Nicole "Walk on the Water"
Click on the the link to hear the words  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Et00UNFDjVM

Day 145.....Do What God Wants

Matthew 6:33 (Contemporary English Version)

33 But more than anything else, put God's work first and do what he wants. Then the other things will be yours as well.

I know God is good. He wants me to get this (Do What Is Right) so that I am not stuggling with the "other things".  If I focus all my attention on doing Gods will then He will take care of the rest.  I am believing for it; however it is a struggle with in my self to not think about all the "other things" that clog up my thoughts.  Like "when will I lose weight", "when will my family be settled in our new home, new town, new school", "where will we go the church", "will we be in the right neighborhood", "should I go back to work", "is childcare the best option for my girls".  It is overwhelming and easily distracts me from doing what God wants.  He wants me to have faith and trust and focus on the fruits of the spirit.  Easier said then done.  I started this journey very materialistically, no cookie yes shoes.  The reality is God had a different goal in mind, the goal is to do what God wants first. 145 days to understand, now how many more days until I apply this understanding.  I think I have spent a month just restating that simple philosophy.  I hope it sticks with me, I am ready to move forward.  I have hovered over the problem long enough.

Day 138....Week 20 Weigh In

Today I lost 1 lb., I gained mostly in the last few weeks, so I hope I am back on track, staying aware.  It is a constant state of awareness.  The old me likes to rear its ugly head, but I am learning HOW to stay focused.  I feel a lot like a blubbering idiot, but one thing is for sure....I am not giving up....and if applied all my mutterings are helping me be the best version of myself.

Day 136....Let God do what I Can't

I am still frustrating my own situation by thinking too much.  I am trying too hard to do it myself.  I believe what God is trying to get through to me is that I need to stop the thinking about what and how to do anything, but instead keep my focus and thoughts on Him.  All my thoughts need to be prayers, then I need to trust and have faith in God's will and perfect timing.  Even with my weight and health.  I have been overweight and unhealthy for a good portion of my life. It is not what will make or break me.  God is trying to get a bigger message to me through my surrendering to this discipline.  I need to be aware that I need God's will and perfect timing in all areas of my life.  When I surrender, God shows up and I am in auto pilot, effortless.  I am up this morning because I surrendered last night after about an hour of tossing and turning over the things in my life that I am powerless to change on my own.  I prayed, " Lord, I am sure you are laughing at all my plans, I need to sleep now so , take my thoughts and worries, bring me peace and patience but most of all I surrender to YOUR will for my life, keep my concience sharp to do only what I can, and give the rest to You, to do what I can't! Amen"  That was last night and this morning I am up and on auto pilot.  God is so good!  Let go and let God......it is true!

Day 129.......Is Grace jealously awaiting my surrender?

1 Peter 5:5 (New Living Translation)

5  In the same way, you younger men must accept the authority of the elders. And all of you, serve each other in humility, for

“God opposes the proud

but favors the humble.”[a]

James 4:5-7 (New Living Translation)

5 What do you think the Scriptures mean when they say that the spirit God has placed within us is filled with envy?[a] 6 But he gives us even more grace to stand against such evil desires. As the Scriptures say,

“God opposes the proud

but favors the humble.”[b]

7 So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

Jonah 2:8 (New International Version)

8 "Those who cling to worthless idols

forfeit the grace that could be theirs.

Could this mean that if I am not submitting to God or my elders authority, God may be frustrating my situation due to my pride!  I have heard the saying, "surrender invites grace".

I Surrender !!!!!

I am learning that God has envy/jealousy for us.  He desires for us to know and seek only after Him.  He is our ultimate gift and He desperately wants us to continue on the path toward Him.  I watched the movie, The Ultimate Gift www.theultimategift.com/  then, came to a realization that God also puts us though a series of gifts (tests),  because His desire is for us to succeed in each gift to obtain the ulimate gift on earth which will only get better into our eternity.  What is the way to obtain it.....Surrender to His will, He is ready to lead us into His pefection, all it takes is surrender!  What's to lose, only the Ultimate Gift.  If you don't want it He won't force it, but He longs (envy/jealousy) for us to have it!   A Big Lesson, but to get it is the Ultimate!

1 Corinthians 10:21-23 (New International Version)

21 You cannot drink the cup of the Lord and the cup of demons too; you cannot have a part in both the Lord's table and the table of demons. 22 Are we trying to arouse the Lord's jealousy? Are we stronger than he?

The Believer's Freedom

23 "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is constructive.

 

Lord, keep my thoughts on You, keep my actions Godly...Let me never arouse Your jealousy that You should oppose me....but let me always surrender to Your will and recieve your grace for my everyday circumstances. In Jesus name, Amen!

Day 126....My Tool Box

On weigh in day, I lost 2 lbs.  I realize that I have developed a wonderful tool box of great tools that work for me when used.  I just need to revisit my past posts and take a look at the tools that have helped me get this far.  I bit my nail off this last week, so I grabbed the ol' tool of dark nail polish (see Day 34 post), starting over is the perfect place to start.  In two weeks I will have long nails again.  I totally enjoyed Christmas and allowed myself to eat whatever I wanted as long as I did not over eat, I stopped when I was full.  I put my napkin on my plate and pushed it away (even when my plate still had food on it) WOW! (see Day 87 post).  Best of all I am in peace, God has given me a new level to dwell on and it has nothing to do with food.  I am no longer a slave under foods control.  Now, don't get me wrong.  I still love food, but it is in moderation because I know who I serve and who I want to think about and it is not food.  (see Day 107 post) 

Day 120......Stay on Track or Fall off Completely

On weigh in day I had gained 2.4 pounds. Ouch!  What I realized is my focus has not been on God this past week, it has been on my circumstances.  I needed to realize that if I lose my focus I will fall completely off the track. To stay on track I need to listen to my body signals and stop snacking when I am not hungry.   It is so easy to get caught up in daily insecurities, all the why, how and where's of lifes unknowns, but I am learning to give it ALL to God especially my thoughts. Then I need to trust that He is working out all the worrisome details for me, all I need to do is keep on being faithful and diligent in my discipline.  WoW!  I don't like set backs.  I am fighting feelings of failure and wanting to give up; however I have come so far.  God has shown up along the journey so many times, just to remind me, that He cares and wants me to keep Him my main focus.  Coincidently I am studying the Fruits of the Spirit with a book study group and I just read the chapter on Self Control.  Boy, did that one sting a bit! 

Galatians 5:17-18 (Amplified Bible)

17 For the desires of the flesh are opposed to the [Holy] Spirit, and the [desires of the] Spirit are opposed to the flesh (godless human nature); for these are antagonistic to each other [continually withstanding and in conflict with each other], so that you are not free but are prevented from doing what you desire to do

So in short, it is HARD!  Our only saving grace is....Philippians 4:13 (Amplified Bible)

13 I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who [a]infuses inner strength into me; I am [b]self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency].

I can do this, but I MUST tap into God's strength with a can do attitude, and with humility knowing that I can not do this alone.  God has to infuse me with His strength.  Also, the strength to not think.  I am my own worst critic, when I allow my thinking to be negative, so I must replace those negative thoughts with God's encouragement.  Encouragemant that reminds me that nothing is impossible with Him. 

Matthew 19:26 (Amplified Bible)

26 But Jesus looked at them and said, With men this is impossible, but all things are possible with God.

God understands that our flesh and spirit are at war.  He delights when we overcome the flesh with Self Control. The self control that produces fruit and where there is fruit there is a harvest.

Galatians 6:9 (Amplified Bible)

9 And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint.

Yeah.....Hope renewed!

Day 110......Weigh In

I lost .6 lbs.!  I am actually celebrating that I lost and did not gain.

Day 107........Pursue Peace

It is difficult to start something new, when your life is full already. It is double hard when that is topped with a difficult situation that takes your thinking in a million different directions.  I am in that place.  However, I am up this morning, just got off the treadmill and I am not going to think about anything until I am out of the shower and my first cup of coffee is in my hand.  This is how I am maintaining my discipline, by refusing to get so sidetracked that I lose the important things.   Calm in the mist of a storm, that is the definition of Peace, it is up to me to pursue it.

Week 15 Weigh In

I lost 2 lbs.!